love for her.

normally 8 pm rolls around and its bed time in the diaz household lol mostly straight across the board from andrea to mommy and daddy... we feed andrea her last bottle put her in her crib say her prayers give kisses and i love you's. Usually she falls asleep on her own.. tonight however was different.. she had her bottle but didn't want to fall asleep so after some coaxing i picked her up and sat down on the glider and rocked my sweet girl.

as i sat there observing her perfectly long eyelashes, watching as she sucked her little thumb, felt the thump of her heart beat, watched her breathe and smelled her hair. i literally felt her slip into her unconscious baby dream land. as i sat there taking all of lifes miracles in it hit me that we with god made this.. this beautiful tiny human. and we not only made this but we have a front row seat to her life. and it amazed me. i felt one with god. literally. i also realized that life is made up of moments some good some bad some miraculous. but all worth it. all molding us to be better that we were the previous day hour or minute. we dont realize it but these moments come from time.. which is the one thing we can never get back. it's always passing. Andrea is already half a year old. The time i've been able to have with her so far has passed me by in a blink of an eye. as i watched my sweet angel sleep in my arms tonight i thought to myself: WOW i'll never get this moment back... this is really a miraculous moment. the realization that God has both rewarded and blessed me with this person who is as connected to my soul as i am just left me speechless. this moment i will enjoy and love and years later i'll look back and remember just how blessed i was to even be able to feel this kind of love this kind of unity and this kind of amazement. This moment quieted all the rest. it made all the craziness, and unfairness in life worth it because she is whats good in the world not to mention she is what's perfect in my world. that is something that will always be. even when i'm tired or and need to be renewed.. when i need something to believe in... when i need to feel loved all i have to do is look at her.. see her smile and know that my purpose on this earth is her.