normally 8 pm rolls around and its bed time in the diaz household lol mostly straight across the board from andrea to mommy and daddy... we feed andrea her last bottle put her in her crib say her prayers give kisses and i love you's. Usually she falls asleep on her own.. tonight however was different.. she had her bottle but didn't want to fall asleep so after some coaxing i picked her up and sat down on the glider and rocked my sweet girl.
as i sat there observing her perfectly long eyelashes, watching as she sucked her little thumb, felt the thump of her heart beat, watched her breathe and smelled her hair. i literally felt her slip into her unconscious baby dream land. as i sat there taking all of lifes miracles in it hit me that we with god made this.. this beautiful tiny human. and we not only made this but we have a front row seat to her life. and it amazed me. i felt one with god. literally. i also realized that life is made up of moments some good some bad some miraculous. but all worth it. all molding us to be better that we were the previous day hour or minute. we dont realize it but these moments come from time.. which is the one thing we can never get back. it's always passing. Andrea is already half a year old. The time i've been able to have with her so far has passed me by in a blink of an eye. as i watched my sweet angel sleep in my arms tonight i thought to myself: WOW i'll never get this moment back... this is really a miraculous moment. the realization that God has both rewarded and blessed me with this person who is as connected to my soul as i am just left me speechless. this moment i will enjoy and love and years later i'll look back and remember just how blessed i was to even be able to feel this kind of love this kind of unity and this kind of amazement. This moment quieted all the rest. it made all the craziness, and unfairness in life worth it because she is whats good in the world not to mention she is what's perfect in my world. that is something that will always be. even when i'm tired or and need to be renewed.. when i need something to believe in... when i need to feel loved all i have to do is look at her.. see her smile and know that my purpose on this earth is her.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
What irritates me: warning.. offensive...
Ok so i dont consider myself to be a judgemental person.. i believe that i have certain standards for my own life and i hold myself and my family members to those standards .. however other people : to each their own..
What seems to irritate me however is the fact that my family and i hold up to those standards .. i met my husband we got married have jobs and now a daughter... we work hard during and post working hours ... we dont have help we care for our daughter and do everything we can to keep her healthy and happy .. my husband and i go above and beyond to make each other and our household work... we fill it with love for one another and our little girl. We dont lie cheat or steal.. we do things the honest way all the time... you may think that this post is all about me or my family but its not... i dont expect a special reward for doing things the right way or what i like to call the right way for our standards.. what this post is really about is the fact that so many around us do things the wrong way sometimes even the dishonest way and get what they want. They get the house by lying.. they get governmental assistance (of whatever kind) by choosing not to be married so they wont have to show a joint income. or they can stay home to raise their children something i only wish i could do to be there for every single beautiful moment. i understand many people run their households differently.. people make choices with their families and childrens best interest in mind... and let me apologize in advance for any hurt feelings because in all actuality i'm only venting because i'm angry ... angry with the system.. angry with society... angry that this has become the normal everyday functionality of many people. but i'm irritated about it... i'm irritated that because i'm married i can't qualify for florida kid care for my daughter instead we have to pay hundreds of dollars a month in insurance premiums all because of our income when in reality we're just making it. I'm irritated that we're saving to buy a house that we could potentially never afford because of the cost of living and since due to the fact that once again we're married and have that lovely little thing called a joint income we do not qualify for any sort of government assistance programs to try to buy that house... i'm irritated that we did things the right way and get penalized for it. That we have to struggle at times just trying to get ahead. but when is that time going to come that by not lying and not cheating that we get rewarded or recognized? i'm not totally sure maybe i'm waiting for something that will never be. but if thats the case how on earth are we supposed to teach our daughter that humility is the right way to go that doing things the honest way will always be the best way to live. i'm at a loss. plain and simple.
What seems to irritate me however is the fact that my family and i hold up to those standards .. i met my husband we got married have jobs and now a daughter... we work hard during and post working hours ... we dont have help we care for our daughter and do everything we can to keep her healthy and happy .. my husband and i go above and beyond to make each other and our household work... we fill it with love for one another and our little girl. We dont lie cheat or steal.. we do things the honest way all the time... you may think that this post is all about me or my family but its not... i dont expect a special reward for doing things the right way or what i like to call the right way for our standards.. what this post is really about is the fact that so many around us do things the wrong way sometimes even the dishonest way and get what they want. They get the house by lying.. they get governmental assistance (of whatever kind) by choosing not to be married so they wont have to show a joint income. or they can stay home to raise their children something i only wish i could do to be there for every single beautiful moment. i understand many people run their households differently.. people make choices with their families and childrens best interest in mind... and let me apologize in advance for any hurt feelings because in all actuality i'm only venting because i'm angry ... angry with the system.. angry with society... angry that this has become the normal everyday functionality of many people. but i'm irritated about it... i'm irritated that because i'm married i can't qualify for florida kid care for my daughter instead we have to pay hundreds of dollars a month in insurance premiums all because of our income when in reality we're just making it. I'm irritated that we're saving to buy a house that we could potentially never afford because of the cost of living and since due to the fact that once again we're married and have that lovely little thing called a joint income we do not qualify for any sort of government assistance programs to try to buy that house... i'm irritated that we did things the right way and get penalized for it. That we have to struggle at times just trying to get ahead. but when is that time going to come that by not lying and not cheating that we get rewarded or recognized? i'm not totally sure maybe i'm waiting for something that will never be. but if thats the case how on earth are we supposed to teach our daughter that humility is the right way to go that doing things the honest way will always be the best way to live. i'm at a loss. plain and simple.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Andrea 6 Mo Check up
Well my beautiful baby girl had her 6 month well visit at the dr. We actually saw a new dr that joined the practice who was extremely informative and thorough.. i loved every second of it!! The dr. said she's in perfect health and from now on she will only have well visits every three months instead of every 2!!
So far at 6 months she's weighing: 13.12
Length: 26 inches
Head Circumference of 16 in.
She's eating 2nd stage baby foods and we're in the process of introducing her to meats.. this week we're on chicken..which she will only eat when its mixed with fruit or veggies which is fine. She's trying desperately to crawl.. rolling has become part of a normal routine for her.. she's also saying mama which I LOVE!!! OF COURSE.
On the negative side of milestones and phases.. andrea is going through separation anxiety.. she will not let us put her down ... she fights her sleep til the bitter end screaming bloody murder..but on the bright side she's still sleeping through the night and i'm thankful for that! So far thats about it i'm enjoying every second of my little angel's development both good and bad its all worth it.. every single moment.
So far at 6 months she's weighing: 13.12
Length: 26 inches
Head Circumference of 16 in.
She's eating 2nd stage baby foods and we're in the process of introducing her to meats.. this week we're on chicken..which she will only eat when its mixed with fruit or veggies which is fine. She's trying desperately to crawl.. rolling has become part of a normal routine for her.. she's also saying mama which I LOVE!!! OF COURSE.
On the negative side of milestones and phases.. andrea is going through separation anxiety.. she will not let us put her down ... she fights her sleep til the bitter end screaming bloody murder..but on the bright side she's still sleeping through the night and i'm thankful for that! So far thats about it i'm enjoying every second of my little angel's development both good and bad its all worth it.. every single moment.
WOW ITS BEEN AWHILE!!
Well in my defense it has been a jam packed few weeks...
after my last post my birthday was on the 25th which ended up being a little rough.. Andrea had a stomach which she so generously passed on to both gustavo and i... so my birthday was spent at the dr with andrea and then pretty sick in bed all night long.. the following morning my parents came to pick up andrea because i was beginning to black out from all the throwing up... it was aweful!!! it laid us up four about two days.. so all in all it was a pretty rough bday week.. we ended up doing absolutely nothing for my birthday .. looking back on it i think i'd just like to pretend my bday never existed this year and revisit next year when i turn 27 lol!!! there were other circumstances making my birthday so unfun!! but i wont go into those lol!!
after that i was bombarded at work because the first week of the month we're absolutely slammed so that week was spent working half the week until 8 pm or later... but i'm back now and happy to be able to say so!!
after my last post my birthday was on the 25th which ended up being a little rough.. Andrea had a stomach which she so generously passed on to both gustavo and i... so my birthday was spent at the dr with andrea and then pretty sick in bed all night long.. the following morning my parents came to pick up andrea because i was beginning to black out from all the throwing up... it was aweful!!! it laid us up four about two days.. so all in all it was a pretty rough bday week.. we ended up doing absolutely nothing for my birthday .. looking back on it i think i'd just like to pretend my bday never existed this year and revisit next year when i turn 27 lol!!! there were other circumstances making my birthday so unfun!! but i wont go into those lol!!
after that i was bombarded at work because the first week of the month we're absolutely slammed so that week was spent working half the week until 8 pm or later... but i'm back now and happy to be able to say so!!
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