TORN!!!

I'M SO TORN!! I want to go back to work... but i dont want to leave my baby....i love being home with her.. being a stay at home mommy is extremely demanding... i almost feel guilty for wanting to go back to work early...i feel like i should be enjoying this time i have with her because it's the only time i'll be able to spend with her at this level... kinda like i can never get these moments back so i want to soak in every second. I'm sure a lot of first time mommy's go through this... but also this is the first time i have been out of work since i was a teenager... so that in itself is kinda weird for me .. even though andrea is a full time job as it is... i just feel so frustrated by all these thoughts.. to go back early or not...missing my hubby...being this new domestic wife... which there's nothing wrong with ... i love it but that's also new... plus the demands of being a mommy are no easy task... now thinking about it i'm so happy that i decided to take this photography class just to be able to concentrate on something else for awhile... it's so easy to get completely wrapped up in my husband and my daughter that already just in the last six weeks i've completely forgotten about myself.. and i dont think thats healthy either... he helps me so much i just want to be able to find that happy medium where we can all have a good balance!! I'm praying that the Lord will guide me and us to be able to achieve all of this!! i need to get organized... and come up with a schedule... i know if i could plan out the rest of my life i would ... but that's not reality ... but maybe just maybe i could plan out the next day??? lol i'd definately settle for that at this point...