Since i've been old enough to understand i've wanted to do something amazing... i had an intense fear of failure... of amounting to nothing... of not being somebody... now that never really correlated to having money or being a millionaire ... i just wanted to be successful... i wanted to help people... i wanted others who came in contact with me to be able to say that i'm a good person and i've gone out of my way to help or touch them in one way or another...
When i had my daughter i felt that had been accomplished... i felt that i had reached that something amazing... i was a mommy... i had a part in creating life....there was another person who was part of this world because of me because of my role.. and i would continue to help her get to that point where she would become something amazing.
i wonder sometimes if the right place for me is working or if i should be home with her no matter what the sacrifice financially... i mean i send her to daycare everyday... and she learns, interacts with other children, and clearly thrives... they teach her how to be a little person...and each year that gets built upon and she grows more and more ... but i wonder about my role in all of that.. i mean when it comes down to it i spend an hour with her in the morning and 4 hours before bed in the evenings...5 days a week... then of course we're weekend warriors... where we live for family time on the weekends...but is she really thriving or would she benefit on a greater level if i were home with her interacting 24/7...
on the flip side:
i enjoy working... i enjoy adult interaction ... i enjoy being good at something other than being a wife and mommy... selfish?
is this alawys going to be how it is???
this ugly inner struggle between one or the other... which is best..what makes me a better or worse mother...
but what if i were able to stay home with her all day ? would i burn out... would i desperately miss my time at work being a productive member of the working population? What about that inner struggle?
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
andrea is 13 months old!!!
Andrea turned 13 months old yesterday.
I think she's doing pretty well for a little 13 month old.
Milestones:
walking (although she prefers to hold a hand wherever shes going she does it pretty consistently on her own as well), pointing, she says mom, daddy, shakes her head no when she doesn't want something, when we count she knows that three comes after 2 and says teeeee LOL ITS ADORABLE!!! knows what shhhh means and will tell you on command lol, she blows kisses and gives kisses on command, hugs, waves byebye, shes ok with playing independently but its really not her favorite thing to do lately she'd rather be stuck to my leg, she's also trying to feed herself with utensils, i dont know if tantrums are a milestone or not lol but she has definitely entered into that phase!! thats all that comes to mind these days i'm sure theres so much that i'm leaving out but those are the main things.
Andrea is on regular "people food" lol usually i give her whatever we eat i just try to make things a little healthier and kid friendly for her sake. she loves pb&j sammies which i introduced to her about two weeks ago.. those and mac and cheese are a big hit with her.
Since she turned 1 she has become crazy in love with her daddy. Which is kind of difficult for me at times because i miss the way she used to be obsessed with me.. but i love seeing the dynamic between her and gustavo... it reminds me of my relationship with my dad... and i love it... she also loves her grandfather and happens to be crazy over him as well.. its cute!!
co sleeping has really plateaued for us... its gotten sooooo bad... i cant even describe how miserable nights can be sometimes... basically fitting my ever so restless toddler in our queen sized bed plus mommy and daddy just isn't cute anymore lol... on a nightly basis i get kicked in the face, head butted, and pretty much pushed off the bed.. i dont even know what its like to snuggle with my husband anymore lol....trying to put her in the crib is extremely hard... she screams until she throws up... if i wait until she falls asleep and then put her in she either wakes up immediately or she wakes up 3 hours later!! its just really bad... even the simple task of getting her to sleep is difficult as she bops around the bed 50 times and screams when we lay her down to sleep.. meanwhile this is usually after 4 hours of play time, and a warm bath with lavendar soap, a warm bottle, NOTHING works... ugh its extremely frustrating.
other than that i would say we have a normal 13 month old who loves to play and watch mickey mouse lol... i love her so much and wouldn't change anything about her... it's all part of the process. happy 13 months little minnow mommy loves you <3
I think she's doing pretty well for a little 13 month old.
Milestones:
walking (although she prefers to hold a hand wherever shes going she does it pretty consistently on her own as well), pointing, she says mom, daddy, shakes her head no when she doesn't want something, when we count she knows that three comes after 2 and says teeeee LOL ITS ADORABLE!!! knows what shhhh means and will tell you on command lol, she blows kisses and gives kisses on command, hugs, waves byebye, shes ok with playing independently but its really not her favorite thing to do lately she'd rather be stuck to my leg, she's also trying to feed herself with utensils, i dont know if tantrums are a milestone or not lol but she has definitely entered into that phase!! thats all that comes to mind these days i'm sure theres so much that i'm leaving out but those are the main things.
Andrea is on regular "people food" lol usually i give her whatever we eat i just try to make things a little healthier and kid friendly for her sake. she loves pb&j sammies which i introduced to her about two weeks ago.. those and mac and cheese are a big hit with her.
Since she turned 1 she has become crazy in love with her daddy. Which is kind of difficult for me at times because i miss the way she used to be obsessed with me.. but i love seeing the dynamic between her and gustavo... it reminds me of my relationship with my dad... and i love it... she also loves her grandfather and happens to be crazy over him as well.. its cute!!
co sleeping has really plateaued for us... its gotten sooooo bad... i cant even describe how miserable nights can be sometimes... basically fitting my ever so restless toddler in our queen sized bed plus mommy and daddy just isn't cute anymore lol... on a nightly basis i get kicked in the face, head butted, and pretty much pushed off the bed.. i dont even know what its like to snuggle with my husband anymore lol....trying to put her in the crib is extremely hard... she screams until she throws up... if i wait until she falls asleep and then put her in she either wakes up immediately or she wakes up 3 hours later!! its just really bad... even the simple task of getting her to sleep is difficult as she bops around the bed 50 times and screams when we lay her down to sleep.. meanwhile this is usually after 4 hours of play time, and a warm bath with lavendar soap, a warm bottle, NOTHING works... ugh its extremely frustrating.
other than that i would say we have a normal 13 month old who loves to play and watch mickey mouse lol... i love her so much and wouldn't change anything about her... it's all part of the process. happy 13 months little minnow mommy loves you <3
WOW!!
I've been out of my blog loop for so long so much has happened.. i dont even think i would be able to pick up where i left off if i wanted too... having said that i'll just sum up:
My last blog post was when Andrea turned 11 months old.... and i had no idea what the next two months or weeks for that matter would hold.
Andrea is now asmathic we're not 100% sure how that came about but have a strong feeling it had something to do with her OLD daycare... old as in shes no longer there!! turns out everytime it would rain they would flood on the inside of the school.. i checked online since all infractions are public record with child care providers and there was no evidence of anything fishy going on. nonetheless i pulled her out for a month... worked part time.. trucked her with me to work from 12-5 everyday for three weeks... the week of her birthday she stayed home with my blessed mother in law who was able to give me some peace to actually be able to get things done for her party, my work at the office, and myself.. being last on the list lol.
the week before andrea turned 1 she got extremely sick... i'm talking major throat infection and fever of 104.. i tried to get the temp under control by alternating motrin and tylenol... plus her antibiotic for the infection... but nothing worked.. i even tried lukewarm baths which suprise suprise weren't a big hit for her or me...finally her pedi told me that if i couldn't get her fever under control i had to bring her into the er... we spent a night there... they poked her from every crevase on her tiny body...catheter, blood, throat, butt, finger... it was bad finally they ended up keeping her for the night and administered antibiotic through injection... we spent the night... just me and my angel.. by the morning she was doing muuuuch better... and the fevers became less frequent... eventually she was better.
her first birthday...
wow it was awesome!!! hot but awesome... i had been buying things and planning since she was 7 months old and to my surprise i used all of my goodies... it was a ballerina party, equipped with ponies, tutu's, a craft table and an icee machine. i was up til 3am the night before getting everything ready ... woke up at 6:30 the next morning to be at the park setting up with my angel of a best friend bea who helped me soooo incredibly much.. she's the best. all in all it was hot being that we were in the middle of july and having a birthday party at a park but i was happy with the outcome.. andrea was totally wired and didn't sleep that night until about 12am lol... we also had LOTS of family here for her celebration which meant we were non stop the entire week plus weekend... my little baby's first birthday was just perfect and i wouldn't have done anything different... after all your first baby only turns 1 once!!! moving forward... next year we'll be celebrating her bday with mickey and friends lol!!!
1 year well visit with dr. martinez...
phewwww where to begin...
andrea received her varicella vaccination and will be going back for her mmr this thursday.
she has reached all of her milestones however unfortunately was off the growth chart for her weight... not good news... granted she had just been sick and hospitalized the week before however he used the phrase "failure to thrive" AHHHH my heart fell to the pit of my stomach i cant even begin to describe the disappointment i felt as a mother at that point in time... basically what he said was that she could just be petite like me however being that shes off the chart for weight and she had lost 4 ounces since her follow up the previous week we needed to change her diet so no more baby food... her diet now consists of eating every few hours like normal and eating lots of protein, pastas, rice, beans, lentils, meat, lean ground beef, any white fish like tilipia...all the good stuff... sooo my challenge began... all in all andrea is a great eater but its a matter of finding what she likes and to have a variety as she gets tired of eating the same things. so far so good...she seems like shes plumped up in the past three weeks but only the scale will tell whats going on. if she is still not weighing what she should we'll have to go see a pedi gi and start running tests. Fingers crossed.
Daycare...
Andrea started a new daycare here in coral springs the first week of august so far its been a very positive experience... no more sicky or asthma episodes... however she is on singulair to keep her asthma under control. i also have her on a multivitamin to boost her little immune system... Shes now in the one year old class and walking a lot... although not 100% yet... the daycare is equipped with a webcame where i can monitor her wherever she is off of my computer... its really great but sometimes i think it makes me miss her more during the day. but she's definitely thriving.
My last blog post was when Andrea turned 11 months old.... and i had no idea what the next two months or weeks for that matter would hold.
Andrea is now asmathic we're not 100% sure how that came about but have a strong feeling it had something to do with her OLD daycare... old as in shes no longer there!! turns out everytime it would rain they would flood on the inside of the school.. i checked online since all infractions are public record with child care providers and there was no evidence of anything fishy going on. nonetheless i pulled her out for a month... worked part time.. trucked her with me to work from 12-5 everyday for three weeks... the week of her birthday she stayed home with my blessed mother in law who was able to give me some peace to actually be able to get things done for her party, my work at the office, and myself.. being last on the list lol.
the week before andrea turned 1 she got extremely sick... i'm talking major throat infection and fever of 104.. i tried to get the temp under control by alternating motrin and tylenol... plus her antibiotic for the infection... but nothing worked.. i even tried lukewarm baths which suprise suprise weren't a big hit for her or me...finally her pedi told me that if i couldn't get her fever under control i had to bring her into the er... we spent a night there... they poked her from every crevase on her tiny body...catheter, blood, throat, butt, finger... it was bad finally they ended up keeping her for the night and administered antibiotic through injection... we spent the night... just me and my angel.. by the morning she was doing muuuuch better... and the fevers became less frequent... eventually she was better.
her first birthday...
wow it was awesome!!! hot but awesome... i had been buying things and planning since she was 7 months old and to my surprise i used all of my goodies... it was a ballerina party, equipped with ponies, tutu's, a craft table and an icee machine. i was up til 3am the night before getting everything ready ... woke up at 6:30 the next morning to be at the park setting up with my angel of a best friend bea who helped me soooo incredibly much.. she's the best. all in all it was hot being that we were in the middle of july and having a birthday party at a park but i was happy with the outcome.. andrea was totally wired and didn't sleep that night until about 12am lol... we also had LOTS of family here for her celebration which meant we were non stop the entire week plus weekend... my little baby's first birthday was just perfect and i wouldn't have done anything different... after all your first baby only turns 1 once!!! moving forward... next year we'll be celebrating her bday with mickey and friends lol!!!
1 year well visit with dr. martinez...
phewwww where to begin...
andrea received her varicella vaccination and will be going back for her mmr this thursday.
she has reached all of her milestones however unfortunately was off the growth chart for her weight... not good news... granted she had just been sick and hospitalized the week before however he used the phrase "failure to thrive" AHHHH my heart fell to the pit of my stomach i cant even begin to describe the disappointment i felt as a mother at that point in time... basically what he said was that she could just be petite like me however being that shes off the chart for weight and she had lost 4 ounces since her follow up the previous week we needed to change her diet so no more baby food... her diet now consists of eating every few hours like normal and eating lots of protein, pastas, rice, beans, lentils, meat, lean ground beef, any white fish like tilipia...all the good stuff... sooo my challenge began... all in all andrea is a great eater but its a matter of finding what she likes and to have a variety as she gets tired of eating the same things. so far so good...she seems like shes plumped up in the past three weeks but only the scale will tell whats going on. if she is still not weighing what she should we'll have to go see a pedi gi and start running tests. Fingers crossed.
Daycare...
Andrea started a new daycare here in coral springs the first week of august so far its been a very positive experience... no more sicky or asthma episodes... however she is on singulair to keep her asthma under control. i also have her on a multivitamin to boost her little immune system... Shes now in the one year old class and walking a lot... although not 100% yet... the daycare is equipped with a webcame where i can monitor her wherever she is off of my computer... its really great but sometimes i think it makes me miss her more during the day. but she's definitely thriving.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Happy 11 Months Andrea
Good Morning,
Andrea is 11 months old today!!! WOW this time last year i was going crazy waiting for her arrival! wondering if my water would miraculously break or if i would have to be induced!! hoping with each doctors appointment she would tell me ... its time .. go straight to the hospital!!! i was doing every and anything to make this child show her beautiful little face :) too bad reality meant waiting a whole other month for her debut. :) but all in all we were ready.. her room was already complete with clothes diapers furniture EVERYTHING!!
Now fast forward a year and here we are... i'm the proud mommy of my very own 11 month old!!
Andrea is weighing close to 17 lbs she had a dr appt last week and she was at 16.12 which is pretty heavy for a little one who so graciously refuses to be put down on the floor, in her play yard, or in the crib... which lets be honest is pretty frustrating... but we're working on that :)
Milestones:
Words she says: Mama, mom, dada, daddeeee, shhhh, mmmmm, bye bye (with a wave), and hi
Gestures: Waves Bye bye, raises her hand to motion stop, gives kisses, and hugs.
Andrea is also standing on her own for a few seconds, can pull her self up to standing.. will take a few steps with assistance but really isn't to interested in walking at all... most of the time if i try to get her to stand or take steps she starts to scream and falls back on her butt so i dont think shes quite ready for that yet. She feeds her self different little things that i give her to eat on her own... puffs, baby cheetos, gold fish crackers, bread, baby vienna sausages.
She's still eating 2nd stage baby foods since i tried 3rd stage and she hated it so i went back to 2nd.. but i'm trying to work in different finger foods to get her used to different consistencies.
We wont have a well visit for her until next month at 1year old so no stats as of right now.
All in all she is a super loving baby, i'm so proud of how much she's learned so far and how much she's taught me as well. I'm so blessed to have such an amazing daughter!!
mommy loves you little minnow!!
Andrea is 11 months old today!!! WOW this time last year i was going crazy waiting for her arrival! wondering if my water would miraculously break or if i would have to be induced!! hoping with each doctors appointment she would tell me ... its time .. go straight to the hospital!!! i was doing every and anything to make this child show her beautiful little face :) too bad reality meant waiting a whole other month for her debut. :) but all in all we were ready.. her room was already complete with clothes diapers furniture EVERYTHING!!
Now fast forward a year and here we are... i'm the proud mommy of my very own 11 month old!!
Andrea is weighing close to 17 lbs she had a dr appt last week and she was at 16.12 which is pretty heavy for a little one who so graciously refuses to be put down on the floor, in her play yard, or in the crib... which lets be honest is pretty frustrating... but we're working on that :)
Milestones:
Words she says: Mama, mom, dada, daddeeee, shhhh, mmmmm, bye bye (with a wave), and hi
Gestures: Waves Bye bye, raises her hand to motion stop, gives kisses, and hugs.
Andrea is also standing on her own for a few seconds, can pull her self up to standing.. will take a few steps with assistance but really isn't to interested in walking at all... most of the time if i try to get her to stand or take steps she starts to scream and falls back on her butt so i dont think shes quite ready for that yet. She feeds her self different little things that i give her to eat on her own... puffs, baby cheetos, gold fish crackers, bread, baby vienna sausages.
She's still eating 2nd stage baby foods since i tried 3rd stage and she hated it so i went back to 2nd.. but i'm trying to work in different finger foods to get her used to different consistencies.
We wont have a well visit for her until next month at 1year old so no stats as of right now.
All in all she is a super loving baby, i'm so proud of how much she's learned so far and how much she's taught me as well. I'm so blessed to have such an amazing daughter!!
mommy loves you little minnow!!
Friday, June 18, 2010
Mommy Loves You
You're Better Than The BestI'm Lucky Just To Linger In Your Light
Cooler Than The Flip Side Of My Pillow Thats Right
Completely Unaware
Nothing Can Compare to Where
You Send Me, Lets me Know That Its Okay
Yeah Its Okay
And The Moments Where My Good Times Start To Fade
You Make Me Smile Like The Sun Fall Out Of Bed
Sing Like A Bird Dizzy In My Head
Spin Like a Record Crazy On a Sunday Night
You Make Me Dance Like a Fool Forget How to Breathe
Shine Like Gold Buzz Like a Bee
Oh You Make Me Smile
Even When You're Gone
Somehow You Come Along Just Like
A Flower Poking Through the Sidewalk Crack
And Just Like That
You Steal Away The Rain
I Dont Know How I Lived Without You
Cause Evertime I Get Around You
I See The Best of Me Inside Your Eyes
You Make Me Smile
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Hello June 15
And on the 15th of june we shall regain our place with the part of society that is no longer staying with mommy and daddy!!! WOOOOHOOOO
Today is an extremely special day one that i thank God for!!! We're finally getting the keys to our townhouse :) obviously being that today is tuesday and the weekend isn't until saturday we're going to be moving things in little by little during the week however we're expected to be totally in by the weekend. :) I'm so excited i can't wait to start putting things away and decorating. Andrea's room will have a new theme which is very exciting for crazy mommy's like myself lol!!! Of course it will be ballerina :) and i'm actually wondering how i didn't think of that theme in the first place. Yes people i know im obsessed, just let me be. I've got to be honest though, i'm really going to miss my mommy and daddy!! it's been so nice spending quality time with them and watching them enjoy andrea. It's an experience that we were lucky to have and we're truly blessed that we had their support while we were going though all the ins and outs the past month and a half has brought us. They are truly the best and i don't know what i would do without them.
Anyway... As for the rest of the house i really cannot wait to see how it comes out as far as the decorating goes!! Gotta get all of our pics up on the walls!! oh yes and of course andrea proof the whole place. The neighborhood is full of babies and little kids so i'm really excited. A new start is always fun and exciting. So let the moving begin as of 6 pm today :)
Today is an extremely special day one that i thank God for!!! We're finally getting the keys to our townhouse :) obviously being that today is tuesday and the weekend isn't until saturday we're going to be moving things in little by little during the week however we're expected to be totally in by the weekend. :) I'm so excited i can't wait to start putting things away and decorating. Andrea's room will have a new theme which is very exciting for crazy mommy's like myself lol!!! Of course it will be ballerina :) and i'm actually wondering how i didn't think of that theme in the first place. Yes people i know im obsessed, just let me be. I've got to be honest though, i'm really going to miss my mommy and daddy!! it's been so nice spending quality time with them and watching them enjoy andrea. It's an experience that we were lucky to have and we're truly blessed that we had their support while we were going though all the ins and outs the past month and a half has brought us. They are truly the best and i don't know what i would do without them.
Anyway... As for the rest of the house i really cannot wait to see how it comes out as far as the decorating goes!! Gotta get all of our pics up on the walls!! oh yes and of course andrea proof the whole place. The neighborhood is full of babies and little kids so i'm really excited. A new start is always fun and exciting. So let the moving begin as of 6 pm today :)
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Moving Day
An update on the house hunting.. We found a townhouse in Sunrise.. its cute a 3/2.5 with 1 car garage... pretty close to sawgrass mills. i'll definitely miss the convenience of pembroke pines but i think this is the right move for us at this point. Official moving date will be June 15th and then begins the rush of finishing up andrea's birthday plans. I'm just hoping from here on out we can get what we need done and then relax a little bit. Things have been so rushed this past month that i cant even see straight anymore. But all in all we're blessed that God opened this door for us.
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